Ah, so I had started this whole blogging thing at the end of last year and I was really stoked, really devoted, really excited to be doing it. I used to write all the time and had fallen away from recording anything other first teeth and birthdays of the kids. Then it happened. We decided that we would try for *just* one more baby. Joe and I had gotten the fever and Holly was pregnant. We had been going back and forth about the decision, but that sealed our fate. I mean, all of our kids have a cousin that's theirs. How could we deprive poor baby Mullaney? So we plunged in, even without being 100% sure we were making the right decision. My pregnancy with Megs was rough and we were both worried what another round could bring us. As much as I wanted another baby, I also want to be a mommy to my beautiful girls for a very long time to come. Well, fate had been sealed, the first month into this decision, we were pregnant.
I knew WAY before the test that it had happened, not sure how I was feeling about it I kept it to myself. Also, this was my third time around, I didn't feel that need to call the doctor at 6am to get in that day so that we could make it 100% sure, I knew. I didn't need a test to tell me that. About a week later I had a dream. It was a dream that made we awake in cold sweat with my heart pounding. I dreamt of my babies. Oh, yes, I said babies. In the dream I gave birth to twins-a boy and a girl. I woke up and just knew then. I told myself this is crazy, its just a dream. But, I knew I was lying to myself. Fast forward a couple of weeks and I was at my confirmation ultrasound. It was St. Patricks Day. I was all alone and planning to go into work when it was all done. I mean, its the 3rd time I've done this, should all be routine, right? Wrong! The tech says "The heartbeat looks great!" My response-"So, there's only one?!?!?!?" And then there was silence. I work in the medical field, I know what silence means. It means, I need a minute to think of a good answer! Sure enough, a minute goes by and the tech responds with "Ummm, no there's two." I just started laughing. This odd, awkward nervous laugh that sounded so foreign to me. I laughed so I wouldn't cry. I started to think of all the bad things we could encounter. Mom and Bob were in the terminal awaiting to board their plane to Mexico. I waited to call her until I was out the door-knowing that as soon as I heard her voice I would break down. Sure as shit, she said hello and I was balling. I was (and still have moments of being) soooo scared. Two kids? Two babies? She calmed me down enough to be safe to drive and I went straight to Joe's job. Oddly enough he was finishing up a job that he had been working on for the last week or so and I had shown me the house the day before (that is what I call fate!). I walk up to him and can barely speak. Once I get it out, he is happy. What? What is wrong with this man I married, I am thinking. Happy? You pay the bills and your happy? So, not only am I pregnant with twins but my rock has just gone insane on me in one conversation. But, that's been he stance ever since. He can't wait for his babies to get here. He's certain it's two more girls (and even though he hates to admit he is totally okay with that!).
So, once I am over the shock I start thinking I need to document this. Also, bedrest is inevitable and I am going to want something to do. Blog names and topics keep running through my head. But, I just couldn't risk it. The beginning of this pregnancy has been rough, to say the least, and I have been so worried that my precious babies wouldn't be ok. But, now, we have hit 18 weeks and Thursday I get to have *the* ultrasound. And, I am making myself do this. I know that once these babes are born I will more than likely not fill out baby books or document first smiles or roll-overs. So, they can have this. They can see what momma went through to get them here as safely as possible!
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